The Process, Part 1

The salesman will arrive and he will not park directly in front of your home. If he is driving a Lexus he may not want you to see it. If he is driving a beat up Ford, he may not want you to see that either.

Many companies have policies about “no ostentatious cars” so even if you see his car there is no real way of knowing how dangerous he really is.

The first thing he will do is get out of the car and face your house and look quite surprised and wave at you. Many times a homeowner will hear the sound of a car and peek out the window. If the homeowner sees someone waiving then he has every reason to believe that the salesman has seen him and “he was caught peeking!

In reality, the salesman always looks surprised and always looks at the house and always waves. He does this to catch you if you really are peeking out the window and to stop you from escaping by not answering the door. He is not even looking at you. He is busy.

The salesman will smile as he walks up the sidewalk, all the while profiling your home and thus you.

He is looking for hints at your personality and information he might use as a tool against you. He is looking at your car, at the bumper stickers on your car, at the grass, at the bushes, at the house paint– everything.

He will then wave again. To trap you again. He will then knock on the door. Knocking is a more personal invasion of your home than ringing the door bell. People usually answer a knock. He will then step back, about ten feet. He steps back so that he will not intimidate you by being too close to the door when you open it. Further, he will probably seem smaller and shorter and thus even less of a threat to you, for now.

If there is no answer then he will return to the door and now ring the bell and again step back about ten feet. He must always step back so that he will not overpower you by his nearness when you open the door.

He will look at your screen door. About one house in thirty (of the homes called on by these salesmen – profiled as a good sales lead) will have a screen door that is coated from the bottom and up about ten inches in dog and/or cat urine. It has been sprayed from the inside. The metal screen is being eaten away by the acids in the urine. There are uncontrolled animals in this home. These animals will most certainly sniff his crotch and blow mucus onto his fly and later try to get into his face when he sits down on the